


Crack

by marzichan



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: AU, Multi, Superstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 06:26:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marzichan/pseuds/marzichan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake builds a ray gun that transforms the target into a beautiful cerulean woman. Crack ensues. Superstuck AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Superstuck is a Homestuck AU based in a world where supervillains and superheroes are a common sight. In this AU, Jake is both a supervillain called General Terror and the son of the infamous Lord English. You can find out more by visiting [this page.](http://generalterror.tumblr.com/faq) This story was originally posted [here](http://generalterror.tumblr.com/post/14970779208/you-had-created-the-ray-gun-on-a-whim-a-personal) on Tumblr.

You had created the ray gun on a whim. A personal dare, really! Could you fill the world with beautiful cerulean beauties with only the pull of a trigger? Well, a pull of a trigger per person, of course. But still it was an admirable thought.

If it worked, _anyone_ could become your dream girl. Even your insufferable nemesis.

So maybe you picked out that ray gun on purpose, or maybe it was just an accident that you grabbed it from the pile and fired without checking its function first after he busted into your lair. Either way, you’re now staring slack-jawed at the result.

The smoke had cleared to reveal… a buxom, blue-skinned, female Tailorbird. It was ironic how nice his outfit looked on a woman’s body, even if the orange sort of clashed awkwardly with her new cerulean skin tone.

“Hubba hubba.” You murmur in awe.

She coughs, waving away the last of the smoke before getting a glimpse of her now-slender blue hand. She freezes. “…What the fuck did you do to me!?”

“I… I can’t believe that stupid ray gun actually worked!” You’re still in shock, stunned by… well, Strider’s sudden beauty.

“Whatever you did, you change me back right now, English. NOW.” Her tone brooks no argument, but you just watch her glare at you with a bemused smile.

“Why would I change you back? You’re so beautiful like this.” You know you probably look like a smitten puppy, but you can’t help it. He… she… is now all you’ve ever wanted in a woman. Blue-skinned and gorgeous! “Say Strider, fancy a tumble in bed together?” You put on your snazziest grin.

Later you would admit that you probably should have anticipated the following punch to the face coming way before it actually hit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted [here](http://generalterror.tumblr.com/post/15003042602/eridan-quickly-scoops-up-the-ray-gun-turning-it) on Tumblr.

Eridan quickly scoops up the ray gun, turning it on you. You stare at her, shocked, and then start to smile. “You won’t pull the tr—”

The blue fish-girl doesn’t even hesitate. The ray gun fires, and you begin coughing as an electric thrill passes down your spine. Your body is tingling, changing…

When it clears, you are just as blue-skinned and busty as Eridan is, albeit without the fish parts. You stare at her in shock, your now-lush lips parted slightly. Eridan frowns at you, brow furrowed, clearly waiting for you to come back to your senses before she begins to make her demands to be turned back into her old self.

But instead of despairing over your sudden lack of manhood, you squeal and tackle her again. “ _And_ you love guns too? You’re the absolute best, Eridan!” You’re giggling, practically straddling the other girl as you cling to her in excitement.

She’s spluttering, squeaky glubs escaping her as she protests and wriggles, but it only turns you on all the more. “No, w-wait—” She still has that wavering accent that you’re used to, which is admittedly pretty cute. You don’t stop cuddling her. “I didn’t w-want you to— glub—”

“We’re both sexy ladies!” You grin at her, leaning in to nuzzle the tip of your nose against her own. “C’mon, Eridan, where’s your sense of adventure? When else are we going to get to see two hot blue babes making out? You’ve got a mirror or a camcorder or something around here, right?”

She looks at you like you’re completely insane. “A clamco—” You giggle again and grope her curvacious ass, and she slaps at your hands. “A fuckin’ clamcorder? Are you reely serious, General?”

“You know it!” You laugh, eagerly, all smiles as you slip your hand up under her skirt.

“Holy carp!” Her hips jerk in instinctive reaction, but this time she uses the ray gun itself to smack you in the head. Hard. “Get off a me!!”

You draw back, reluctantly, rubbing the side of your head as you push out your blueberry-colored lower lip in a fetching pout. “What’s wrong, Eridan? I thought we were friends!”

And obviously friends help friends out by making out and recording it for posterity when both friends have been turned into women.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted [here](http://generalterror.tumblr.com/post/15112436476/sadly-your-mistake-in-using-the-ray-gun-on-vriska) on Tumblr.

Sadly, your mistake in using the ray gun on Vriska turned out to be a costly one. She (He?) definitely did not hesitate in giving you a well-deserved trouncing for your gender-swapping shenanigans. Apparently the whole ‘don’t hit girls’ rule only applies to _real_ men who are fighting _real_ girls, because Vriska had no such compunction when smacking you around.

In addition to making sure you fully regretted this entire ordeal, she forced you to return everyone to their regular selves and also destroyed your ray gun once you had finished. She even burned the blueprints! What a pity.

But the wounds you now nurse make you reluctant to disobey her express command to NOT ‘fuck around’ like that ever again!


End file.
